Balance

I just finished a week of working with my colleagues on some curriculum work.  There is one teacher whom I'm always giving "pep talks" because she is routinely in tears and so self-critical about her inadequacy with technology.  Her constant negative self-talk is paralyzing.  Any time any teacher shares anything, she is always comparing herself and coming up short.  She is actually the reason I started this blog in the first place.  My first post was just for her.  Instead of taking the great ideas and making them her own, she just makes herself feel bad in some way.  Anyway, back to balance.  When I am at work, I feel pretty great about my own use of technology.  When I am on Twitter, I can feel inadequate.  I saw a tweet again recently about focusing on strengths.  This time it was from Dave Burgess and #tlap...make a conscious effort to focus on what empowers you.  When I was talking with my colleague last week I tried to help her see that she needed to focus on her strengths because if she is always trying to do what the other teachers are doing and she doesn't like it or is not good at it and is just doing it because she thinks she must or she'll get fired if she doesn't, it will make her life miserable and that will translate to the students and show through during the activity and the activity won't succeed.  There are some things she likes about technology and she should start there.  Start where she feels empowered not where she feels beaten down.

I have to take that advice for myself when I'm on Twitter.  I need to focus on the great ideas that I think I can make my own and that empower me so that they will succeed and I will feel good about them and that will translate to my students.  But I also want to take the Twitter advice of not being afraid to fail and dreaming big.  But I want those dreams to be my dreams, not someone else's dreams.  If I try to do what someone else thinks is cool, it won't be authentic and my passion won't be behind it.

I need to stretch myself, but I need to give myself credit for stretching myself in ways that I don't realize I'm stretching myself.  Just blogging and putting myself out there for others to read is a huge step for me.  I know I need to get out of my comfort zone more often. But I can't expect myself to be delivering Keynote speeches at ISTE tomorrow.  LOL.  I have been participating in lots of chats this summer.  I have expanded my PLN tremendously.  I am participating in the Summer Learning Series.  I am learning and growing.  I am working on implementing TLAP ideas to my lessons.  So I am getting out of my comfort zone in many ways.

Balance.  I need to stretch and grow and not be afraid to fail.  But I need to focus on what empowers ME and what I find fun and what I'm passionate about and that will give me the push to get out there.